Atomic Poop Bomb in 5...4...3...2...1

No, that IS NOT food. That is poop. I don't quite understand the physics of how it exploded out of the diaper, nor do I wish to. All I know is it is absolutely disgusting. It's like an atomic poop bomb. One bright side to the story, for once it didn't happen on my watch. I received this photo while at work via mi madre'. And I must say I began laughing uncontrollably. Laughing at my mother's misfortune. 

For those who missed, here is my previous exposure with teething diarrhea.

An absolute nightmare! Even though I was laughing hysterically, I felt my mom's pain. And I must say her exposure was wayyyyy worse than mine. My lead into the story.

The night before Chris was at work so E and I ate at Nonnie and Poppy's. Non had gotten a new travel high chair which she placed in an all wood chair. I decided it needed to sit in one of her fancy fabric chairs. I don't know why, it just sounded good. Bad ideal. Skip to today. Not only was E's high chair covered in poo, so was Non's fancy fabric chair, and her floor, and her shirt, and her arm. There was poop every where. How can so much crap come out of one little twenty-one pound infant? Oh that's right, because he's my kid. Not to mention that E repeated the poop fest two more times. I'm going to go out on a limb and say, he's teething. For real this time. 

Neglect

For the last week I have completely neglected my blog. It was one of "those" weeks. One word sums it up, exhausting. Exhausting for E. Exhausting for me. And exhausting for Daddy. E had his first ear infection, not only his first, but a double at that! And I had no clue of any of it. Friday I brought him into the doctor because he had a temp (which I accredited to teething). Low and behold he had a double ear infection. He had no signs of having an ear infection. I felt horrible. We had about four days of sleeplessness, moodiness, and clinginess. So where we stand now, E's moodiness has improved and still NO teeth. What the heck? I can see four of his top teeth pushing through. I am sooooo over teething. As quoted by my friend Ellen who has a little girl two weeks older than E, "I feel like for the next two years we can just say "They're teething." I've been using that excuse for the last five months, and still only two teeth have shown up. I can't just accept the fact that maybe my child is just in a bad mood orrrrrrr MAYBE he has a double ear infection. I'm going to take this phrase out of my vocabulary, "He's just teething." It has failed me every time.

Even though sweet boy was miserable we still managed to have a few smiles. 

Daddy gave E a famous butt cut. 

Smiley

Playing in Nonnie's dump truck

Can you guess what E's going to be for Halloween?

We had to try on the head piece, because I'm pretty sure he's going to refuse to wear it.

Hours of fun with one door stop.

Hit the Wall

This isn't one of my humorous/full of laughs blog posts. This is a blog from the heart. I feel as a Mommy/parent I am expected to be perfect at my job, for goodness sake- I have another life depending on it. I am on this Earth to teach my child. Teach him to eat. Teach him to sleep. Teach him to communicate. Teach him to roll/crawl/walk. Teach him and guide him in the story of life. I only want the best for my child. And in that journey I have learned it's okay to feel defeated every now and then. This weekend was my temporary (keyword) moment of defeat. 

Last night I hit the wall. The wall of desperation. The wall of desperation to feel like that perfect parent.

We had a super duper extra long weekend. A weekend full of tears, both on mine and E's part. Saturday was full of tears on E's part. Poor boy's teeth were giving him hell. In turn I worked, to no avail, to make E happy. Chris went to work at 3:00 for twenty-four looooooooonnnnnnng hours. E and his sore gums were left 100% in my hands. He cried in my arms for 45 minutes (post Tylenol, post Ibuprofen). Frozen teething toys didn't work. Nothing worked. I felt completely helpless that I couldn't make my baby happy. E had a total of about one hour of happiness the whole day. So out of character for him.  Somehow we both managed to survive Saturday. 

On to Sunday. Sunday was better, but E still wasn't himself and was still a lot of work. I decided it would be a good ideal if we got out of the house, even if for just an hour. Target it was. Where else do you go to kill time? In hopes to raise my child's spirits I bought THREE new toys for him, and he loved them all. At 3:00 daddy made his return (Thank you Jesus!). Sunday night after E went to bed I met my breaking point. I don't know if it was just the overall relief and realization that backup was there or the fact that I wasn't alone anymore. I've realized over the last nine months how truly lonely it gets when Chris goes to work. Before I became a Mommy, the nights Chris went to work I would hang out with my girlfriends. Very rarely did I just stay home. I was quite the busy body. I love being around people. Now it's just E and me.  Socializing with a nine month old just isn't quite the same. Don't get me wrong, I WOULDN'T change a thing about my little homebody life now, but it does get lonely. I think one of my personal hurdles right now is learning how to deal with that loneliness. Maybe I'll find a hobby. Maybe I'll schedule more playdates. Maybe I'll make more trips to the firestation. One thing I know is I can't keep going to Target, because I will end up broke and living in a box. Needless to say after having an exhausting Saturday and lonely Sunday I threw a complete and total pity party, my hubby wiped away my tears and reassured me that this too shall pass. That E does love me. Yes, I thought for a brief moment in time that E might not love me. I think it was just some random thought thrown in a huge pile of overwhelming emotions. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Chris? He always knows how to make me feel better. Life isn't perfect and it isn't supposed to be. I have to learn to take the good and the bad and make something great (E)! 

Here are some funny moments out of the weekend....always let the good outweigh the bad :)

E being all zombie like. Trying to rip Mr. Turtle's face off.

E chewing on Mommy's "decorative" fall towels. Funny part, Mommy doesn't even care! Can you tell we're teething yet?

My two little beggars. 

Too bad he's not big enough for chores. Little boy loves the dishwasher.

A semi-rainy overcast day is perfect for swinging.

Notice fingers in mouth?

E falling asleep on me, by far the sweetest thing on this Earth.

Making Daddy proud. Checking out what he wants to purchase next. 

The itty bitty hands that hold my heart.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Who knew wipes could be so dang entertaining?!

Favorite Beauty Products

Today I am linking up with Kelly's Korner Blog for Show us your Favorite Beauty Products. I love makeup. From as early as I can remember I had an obsession with makeup. I am that girl who you will never see out in public without her "face" on. My makeup has definitely changed and evolved through the years. In my early twenties I was all about bronzer and crazy colored eyeshadows. Now I am all about simplicity and affordability.  Now it's time to delve into the makeup bag, where all the magic happens :)

As previously stated, I am all about affordability, in comes the FREE Clinique bag. I have tons of these precious bags. This one is my favorite because the outside is easy to wipe down. 

How do you get the free bag you ask? You spend $23.50 and you get a free bag with free products. Here is where I spend my $23.50 at: concealer, foundation, and powder. I have tried numerous other foundations and powders, but these have proved to work the best on me. My foundation and powder are definitely my splurges. 

Foundation: Perfectly Real Makeup

Powder: Superpowder Double Face Makeup

Concealer: All About Eyes Concealer

As far as eye makeup and blush WalMart does me just fine. Usually if I find a shade I like at Ulta or Sephora I can find the same shade at the Wally World, for way less. In my head I just can't reason spending $30 on eyeshadow. In my pre baby days yes, now no. Also the Utla brand with a $3.50 off coupon is always nice.

 For primer I use L'Oreal Magic Perfecting Base. Post baby makeup started settling in the bags under my eyes. The primer has fixed that problem. 

I use L'Oreal Voluminous mascara and Revlon ColorStay eyeliner.

 The only splurge I use as far as eyes is Mac Brow Shader (which this one I have had for about four years now). 

Makeup brushes oh how I love the! These brushes are by far my fav and have stood the test of time. They are extremely cheap for brushes. Would make a wonderful Christmas gift. Here is the website:

Crown Makeup Brushes

Last but not least, by far the thing I never ever leave my house without. LIPGLOSS! And of course I have a favorite....L'Oreal Colour Riche leGloss. This lip gloss isn't like the others, it isn't sticky, it doesn't get goopy, it actually has tint to it, and it is super shiny. What more could a girl ask for? On the days I choose to go au natural with the lips I use eos balm, which comes is some amazing flavors.

Whoooooola!!! Oh oh oh it's magic.

The No Good, Very Bad Day

Today is one of "those" days. My patience is being tested. The big man upstairs pushing my parenting skills just a little bit harder. Can I handle it? Of course! Might I shed a few tears, absolutely. For the past week E just hasn't been himself, from happy go lucky baby to angry, never content baby. The past week he has usually had is flare ups for a couple of hours in the afternoon (hence why my blogging has been lacking this week- by the time E goes to bed I'm exhausted). Today he decided to change his routine up a bit, E has decided to make it an ALL day affair. Yay! NOT! I keep blaming it on teething, but dang when are those things ever going to come in?!?! Here it is a week later and no sight of any teeth, just some swolled up gums and a slobbery, fussy baby. Tylenol failed me first thing this morning, next stop Ibuprofen. This coming from a girl who is anti-medication. At this point, I would give just about anything to make E feel better. The child is refusing to eat, with the exception of Cheerios. He is taking his bottles so that's a blessing. A few days ago Chris took E to the deer lease and E came back with some bites on his arms, legs, and face. Originally I thought they were mosquito bites, did I mention I am completely paranoid about West Nile? And I semi freaked. But then he kept getting new bites. Apparently some bug hopped a ride on E's stroller at the lease and decided to make it home, so every time E got in his stroller he got bit. After super power washing the stroller, the bug has relocated and no more bites for E. But in the back of my head, especially with E's swing in mood, I keep thinking could he have THE West Nile? Yes, I know, I am an over dramatic freak of nature. Chris made a valid point, E would be lethargic and have a fever, not wild, afebrile, and moody. Okay, West Nile ruled out. Guess my diagnosis is going to stay teething. Because there is no way on Earth my child could be this big of a turd without something wrong with him. I've already decided that E has Chris's pain tolerance (NOT GOOD). Plan for the rest of the day: hold my whinny, teething (?), grumpy, angry child until he feels better. Intermittently interrupting our love sessions with appropriate dosing of Tylenol and Ibuprofen. Say a prayer for mine and E's sanity. We can do this!

Cracker Barrel with a Side of Victoria's Secret

Anybody that knows me, knows that I am me. I am uncouth and unfiltered. That being said, I have a story from my past that I feel is too good not to share. 

Go back approximately five, maybe six years ago. Chris and I technically still in the newly wed phase (less than five years of marital bliss). Chris decided he wanted to learn to scuba dive. Cool. Sister was out, sister has the ears from hell and blew an eardrum attempting to scuba in a mere five feet of water. After getting my hand slapped by my ENT, I decided scuba diving wasn't for me. In an attempt to be a supportive wifey, I followed my boo to Arkansas, lake Ouachita to be specific, for his test dives. This was pre GPS age, or at least us poor newly weds couldn't afford it. Our directions, straight from MapQuest. Yeah. Needless to say, we got lost going down there. MapQuest invents roads that don't even exist. Chris and I are not good travel partners, the end result usually ends in threats of divorce. Luckily, we made it to our destination without contacting divorce attorneys. Chris did his dives and I went shopping. Both happy campers. Chris made some new friends while there. Friends that said they knew a quicker way back to Shreveport. SCORE! So we decided we would follow them back to the homeland, but not before a lunch at none other than Cracker Barrel. My choice of lunch: Chicken and Dumplings. My all time favorite southern treat. Mistake, bad bad bad mistake. About fifteen minutes after leaving the Crack Barrel I felt the first rumble below. Anybody that has visited Arkansas knows there is NO, I repeat, NO place to pit stop. No gas stations. No fast food restaurants. NOTHING. Enter stage left, another rumble. Decisions. Decisions. Call these newfound friends (who are driving 85, obviously in a hurry) and explain to them that I need to go crap in the woods and could they please pull over, crap my pants, or option C. I'm too shy for the first (unbelievable right?). Option two definitely not happening. There's just something so wrong about wearing your poo. All that's left is option C. Let me lay option C out for you- climb in the back of my brand new Lexus and crap in the Victoria's Secret bag that held all my new purchases. Genius. As I hovered over the bag, not allowing Chris to roll down the windows- the last thing I needed to worry about was hair flying in my face, Chris was yelling "This is (insert cuss word of your choosing) gross." He repeated himself about ten times. I got the point, but my options were limited, and with process of elimination this was the best I could come up with. Needless to say, as soon as I was done Chris rolled the windows down, which is where the bag went- out the window. My Victoria's Secret bag of poo was left on the side of the road for some poor inmate to pick up. Classy Brandi. I traveled comfortably the rest of the trip. Moral of the story, always have a back up plan for on the road "emergencies." Mine was Victoria's Secret.

Nine Month Checkup

E had his nine month check up yesterday. And I he we LOVED it. No shots! When I got pregnant, every brain cell I had left me, and apparently that still holds true. The girl who used to have it all together, has it together no more. I bee bopped into the doctor's office ready to see how much chunk weighs and talk with the doctor about a few concerns I had, only to be told my appointment was Tuesday (it is now Wednesday). AWESOME. Mrs. Organization herself got it wrong. At least the time was right. So being the most amazing Doctor ever, Dr. Carroll fit me in. And being "fit in" we were only there an hour. Impressive. I cannot sing enough praises of my pediatrician and her office. She's great with E and I have never had to wait more than an hour, even all the times I went in unexpectedly (meaning about six times) the first month E was born. 

Here are E's stats:

Weight- 20 lbs 11.5 oz

Height- 29 1/4 inches

Head- 18 1/4 inches

The boy's got a big noggin on him!

E was in rare form. The child was the complete definition of delirious. I have never seen him so wild. That day he had revolted every nap his Nonnie tried to make him take. Why you ask? The beast known as teething. We are waiting patiently on those top two toofers to break through. E had a hay day with the paper on the table. I honestly believe that is the only purpose of that paper, pure entertainment. Because if it hadn't been there, I'm not really sure how we would've entertained the wild man.

Needless to say, as soon as we got in the car this is how E ended up.....

Asleep, and paciless. 

On the Road to Alabama...ROLL TIDE..wait, no

Friday morning we (my mom, E, and I) began our adventure, on the road headed to Montgomery, Alabama. Estimated time to final destination, eight hours. Actual time with a nine month old in the car, twelve hours. And one stop at Cracker Barrel (impressive for my family, usually it's at least three). 

Friday played out like this:

At 8:30 we hit the road, dreary rainy weather and all. It rained off and on the whole trip, but that didn't dampen our party- no pun intended. E lasted about three to four hours before he started getting irritable and ready to flee the carseat. First stop, other than gas stations, THE one and ONLY Cracker Barrel. God's gift to restless travelers. Not only did we eat delicious salads (which we unfortunately paid for later- add on two more pit stops), but we found some shopping bargains. Which ended up being the theme of this trip. After our lunch and shopping retreat, we loaded the little traveling baby back up and headed back out on the highway. With about one more hour left in our trip, guess who fired up the vocal cords? Enough was enough for little E. So like mad women we begin frantically searching for a WalMart. What better place to let E break from his carseat and look at interesting characters. One thing I noticed at this stop- Alabamians are die hard football fans. Being the opening weekend for college football, all I saw was a sea of Alabama and Auburn gear, EWWWW. A nightmare for an LSU girl. I believe it was obvious we were from out of town. We had not a lick of maroon or orange and navy on. Add another hour in WalMart onto our time. Finally we arrived at the hotel safe and sound. We didn't get to see Uncle J that night, due to a late ball game. So I put little boy E down for the night and called it a night myself. Here are a couple of pictures from the first night. Please excuse my iphone quality pictures. The iphone is lightweight and compact, therefore my camera of choice. The same reason I dress my child in onesies all the time {E and his onsies}, sheer convenience. 

E man and his bucket of travel toys.

E's crib for the next three nights.

Little boy slept amazing. He never woke up, even with being in such a strange, new environment. 

Day 2: 

Saturday we spent some time in the hotel room and out and about around the town. We went to lunch with Uncle J. I ended up covered in BBQ sauce and ice cold water, compliments of E's fascination with cold glasses. Did I mention I was wearing white shorts, nice right? After lunch, Uncle J went back to the hotel to relax and get mentally prepared for the game to come (he was pitching). Mom, E, and I went shopping for a little while. I found TONS of amazing deals. I think I have E's wardrobe for the next year covered. Shirts for $1.99 and shorts for $3.00. This girl loves a good deal! Once E decided he had enough of the shopping experience (my schedule no longer is mine, it belongs to E), we headed back to the hotel for a family nap. Two hours later it was time for Uncle J's ball game. E was in heaven at the ballpark (good sign). He loved all of the people. I have learned my child is quite the charmer. He would stare people down until they looked at him and then he would crack up laughing, creating a game. It was so great seeing my brother pitch again, I still have the same jitters I did when he played back in high school. E took away some of those jitters because I was busy tending to him, but those little butterflies were still there. 

E and Nonnie playing in the hotel window. 

Silly Nonnie decided to open the window. 

E's hands looked like coal minors hands from the black dirty screen, it was pretty funny. 

E man cruising the room. 

My angel during his nap. Look how huge he looks!

Nonnie wrapped up like an eskimo- cold natured much?, sound asleep. Well, maybe not sound. You see, Nonnie has a snoring problem. Just kidding, but seriously, I had to quiet her down a couple of times. 

Dippin Dots

What I come to ball games for...other than to see Josh of course. 

Instagram Style

Day 3:

Filled with more shopping, more shopping, and more shopping. We spent some more quality time with Uncle J. Uncle J had a game he had to go to at 2:00. We decided to pass since he wasn't pitching and it was so hot outside. Our shopping was interrupted by a phone call. A phone call from my brother saying he had been called up to the big leagues. How exciting! We were just joking earlier in the morning about him getting called up because I was in town. EVERY time it's just mom and I visiting Josh he gets called up. I need to visit more often :) I know Josh really wanted this and I am so thankful for his blessing. He has accomplished so much in his twenty-four years. A little boy's dreams coming true. By far, this was the highlight of the trip. 

Day 4:

Headed back to home, sweet home, Louisiana. There's no place quite like home. Our trip home was fairly uneventful. A couple of outbursts from nugget and another constipation scare, but not bad. I think once my child is in his carseat for more than three hours his bowels completely stop working, creating the constipation monster. This trips monster was nowhere near as bad as the previous trips. A little prune juice solved the problem. We made much better time, home by 5:30. Somebody's daddy missed them very much, and boy could you tell. We were glad to be home safe and sound. There's nothing quite like sleeping in your own bed. 

Are we there yet?!