Thursday, May 17, 2012

Growing as a parent

Today I had to take a serious laugh at myself. It's amazing how far I've come as a mother. Never before did I think I could manage a three hour outing with just me, myself, and my baby. I remember I used to freak out about just changing a diaper in public, much less feeding my baby in public. I felt like everybody was staring at me, analyzing my every move. Now it's second nature. I quit worrying about what people think, actually I don't have time to worry about what people think. I'm too busy changing my child's diaper out of the trunk, or giving my hungry baby his bottle, or entertaining a grumpy kid. Accomplishing this by myself makes me feel like SUPER MOM. I've become the master of multitasking. I make a schedule every month on what days mom and Mrs. Carol (Chris mom) have E, based on when Chris and I work. Used to I would have to get Chris to watch E just so I could accomplish this. Now E plays while I make the schedule. I can wash clothes while E plays. I can do dishes while E plays. I can eat while E plays. All things I used to not be able to do unless E was asleep. I think a lot of it has to do with E growing up and becoming more independent, but I also think some of it has to do with me growing as a parent. I honestly feel like a true mommy now. Before I felt like I was playing a role, now I am that role. And it feels great! I remember calling my mom and asking her about everything (bathing, feeding, sleeping, etc.) I was clueless, you hear me CLUELESS. I took all the classes, I watched my sister raise her kids, but when it's your kid your mind goes blank and everything becomes foreign. Every small thing is a huge thing. Right down to trimming their fingernails. Now I just do it, I do what I think is best for my baby. I don't need reassurance from somebody. I feel like I'm becoming an independent parent. I think before I needed my hand held and to be walked through every step of parenting. I've learned parenting is a learn as you go thing. Take it step by step, day by day. And enjoy the ride along the way.

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